sisyphus of cringe.

Almost everything i do is cringe. I don’t know if its’s something that will disappear as i further develop my creative skillset.

Although many people think creative work is a skill - I don’t.

In the search of becoming funnier, smarter and better at writing I’ve been forced to dissect the frog of creativity, and I don’t like it!

THe famous saying by E.B. White

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process".

This pursuit has ruined my joy for creative things.

The joy was the only reason i started.

But now I search for reasons to why some creative work is good, and why some is bad.

In creative endeveours, it feels wrong to search for some objective measure of goodness.

Anyone could probably make a good piece of art. A song or maybe a joke. Someone could make recipes for humour, certain words and write a bible of what makes something rationally funny, by simply gathering enough data.

(let the record show, i don’t know if i think standup is art)

Modern discourse on art is especially bad at this. It often revolves around pushing western standards of quality - such as rationalism and objectivity.

This is why i hate art critics. But I am forced to be one myself.

It feels like being an A.I. that can detect what people like without the joy.

As previously mentioned on this blog, i want to avoid rational choices.

I don’t want to write like the old white guys who wrote all the classics.

I don’t want to make jokes like the old rich guys before me.

I want to do something new, so I am forced to be cringe.

The very essence of cringe itself is actually quite spectacular. There is very few feelings like it.

Watching someone be cringe, or being it yourself, its very gut wrenching and horrible.

It’s more viceral and physical than many other emotions.

And yet i keep being cringe.

I guess I’ve become the sisyphus of cringe.

Look at me.

I am cringe.