lightswitches.

In my home i have the pleasure of flicking, cranking, pressing and twisting lightswitches.

Everyone knows the classic lightswitch. It’s a square switch, that you can flick on or off. It has a quite large surface area, no aiming required. The simple design with a large surface area, allows for the signature SLAP. This is quite simply the act of slapping the lightswitch.

Safely.

Light.

Area.

Promptly.

S.L.A.P.

Now let us move onto another classic lightswitch in Norway. I am of course talking about the “circular button push with a rotation capability”. This switch is the “fridge with ice-cube dispenser” of lightswitches. The fact that i now live in a place with one of these switches goes to show how class mobility is possible in Norway. This shit makes you feel rich. I get to FIRST push THEN crank?!?! Thats a two part motion! I feel as if I’m hacking into some sort of computer mainframe, or launching a nuclear test. However these switches have a drawback. If one deploys the SLAP technique on these, the mechanism can easily be damaged. This can cause the button to become sloppy and unsatisfying. Worst case could lead to a completely broken switch. Rich people always have some cool shit that breaks too easily.

The subsequent lightswitches will not be ceiling lights. Ceiling lights suck 90% of the time anyway.

For lamps we have two main mechanisms. The first one is the classic rectangular switch attached to the wire. This one can feel nice and tactile, however i personally feel like the wire often needs some digging or reaching to find. The second one is a cylindrical knob you can push down, located on the lamp itself. These are great fun, and often they make a satisfying spring sound. These also suffer from sloppiness with age. They also require high precision, so no SLAPping here!

Now we have covered the main lightswitches, that probably amount for 70% of the lightswitches you get to push. Therefore, everytime you encounter one of the mechanisms that i will discuss next, you have to remember to cherish the moment.

“The stiff nipple”. These are the lightswitches we see in american movies. They poke out slightly downwards, and when you turn it on, you flick it towards the sky. The mechanism is essentially the same as the square switch, but god damn it, the difference is night and day! This switch makes you feel like an eloquent homo sapien. Everytime i get to erect one of these switches, i feel like uncovering a murder mystery.

“The pull string”. This shit is the goofiest god damn invention since the clown car. And i love every god damn second of it. Every time i get to use one of these, it feels like i am falling for an obvious trap. A fucking string?! Seriously? This has to be the most annoying way to produce a lightswitch, and i absolutely one hundred precent respect it. FUck yeah, i want to see more of these in my life.

REMOTE CONTROLLER. This can often be found in a)some sort of corporate room with a hub for switching on many different light sources. b) The most horrible nachspiel with a L.E.D. lightstrip installed to guarantee some sickening pink flashing lights. However these can be fun, as you get to point the remote and pick colors, from the comfort of the couch.

TWIST?! I recently salvaged a free lamp from Finn.no, and this lamp has a fucking twist switch. I love this switch so much, it made me love every other switch more. My lamp inspired this blogpost. That is precisely why i want to shed some light to an alarming development in the lighting industry.

Unfortunately, all these physical mechanisms are under the threat of extinction. With smartphones, and motion sensor lights becoming increasingly prominent, we need to fight back if we wish to preserve these fun switches in our everyday life. Cherish the weird switches, and enjoy the magic of bringing light to darkness.

<3

Did i forget any switches? :3