christmas.

Imagine being born into a house from which you cant escape. This is what society can feel like sometimes.

Traditionally in the history of my own existence i have been what many would call a “hater”.

Its good in one sense, because it has developed my critical thinking skills, and has very much shaped my sense of humour.

What nobody tells you about being a hater, is that you rarely get to enjoy anything for yourself.

The feminist scholar Sara Ahmed has embraced the role of disrupting social norms related to happiness. She uses the word “killjoy” in a semi ironic way, as an attempt to take back the word. A Killjoy refuses to go along with social expectations and traditions if they are oppressive or exclusionary.

Pointing out how christmas sucks is not a new or revolutionary way of being a killjoy. At this point, most people know that the constant advertising and tradition of gift giving is not easy for low-income people. Spending hours on buying or making gifts is not easy for anyone, so just imagine already struggling and then having this BS on top of everything.

So why is Christmas so insufferably inescapable?

It’s everywhere. We got HUGE billboards that SHINE BRIGHTLY and music with god damn jingle bells for an ENTIRE MONTH. An elevated focus on being with family is very easy if you have a loving family, but a lot of people don’t.

So then if you end up being alone for that time period it is really hard to not feel bad about it. Imagine being lonely in general and then the darkest and coldest time of year rolls around and now you feel even worse.

All this because middle-class people who can afford to take time off work and make dinners with their lovely family want it.

All this because big corporations profit off everyone being in a christmassy holiday mood.

This joy and pleasure comes at the cost of everyone elses happiness.

The worst part is that it seems like most people agree with this.

“Yes it’s horribly exclusionary. Oh well. Lets go put the Christmas rib in the oven.”

The skinny meat boiled off the bones of a cute little lamb, bred and killed for this spesific day. It’s tradition!

We’ve heard this a million times before. Why am i talking about it now?

Because i kind of like some parts of christmas.

My cognitive dissonance has erected itself.

When i walk in a christmas market and everything looks like a capitalist super fake american movie i cant help but think it’s kind of nice. Smell of almonds and gløgg in the air. Some merchants selling stupid shit that’s produced purely to be given away as a dumb little gift? I love it.

Fuck.

Christmas lights hung above the main streets of the city give the dark winter a much needed uplift.

A big goofy christmas tree in the middle of the town square has no other value than being kind of nice. It makes me happy.

AND ALL OF THIS CONTRIBUTE TO THE BEFORE MENTIONED ALL-CONSUMING CAPITALIST CHRISTMAS TERROR.

This year i am extremely lucky that my mother had a lot of Airline Cash Points saved up, so she could afford to bring me to Finland.

I have a mother and father whom i appreciate a lot. They are both alive and my grandparents too.

And for many people this christmas will be the first christmas with an empty seat at the table.

Some will wish they had anyone at all around their table.

Christmas is melancholy, but maybe i can appreciate that the unfairness of it all makes me appreciate what i have more.

I will try to make the world a better place.

Or as fifty cent said: “Or die trying.”

-take care.