my feet are cold.


When they are not cold, i fear they will become cold.

If they freeze for long enough, the pain stops.

I do not want the pain to stop.

I do not fear the cold, i fear the absence of it.

I wear thick wool socks with some slippers, to create layers between me and the cold ground. I don’t want the cold world to contaminate me.

More layers.

When i finally achieve the perfect temperature, i rarely remember to notice it. I forget to enjoy it.

I forget, until the pain appears again.

When i am waiting for the bus.

When i am cooking food.

The pain reappears at random times.

Sometimes it hurts a lot, but more often than not, its just a nagging feeling at the back of my mind.

A key part of keeping your feet warm, is not overdoing it. Sweat will lead to even colder feet.

This is the painful game of hot & cold. Keep them warm, but not too warm.

My struggle to stop the pain bothers me more than the pain itself.

What if i let go of the fear.

If only i could let go of this fear.

I constantly over-prepare.

What if there is no perfect temperature?

All i can do is keep bringing my wool socks to the pub.

I just need to remember to take them off when i get in.

Beer numbs the pain.

I have to find patience.

I will wait.

Waiting for warmer days.

One day i will be able to remove some layers. Even if it seems distant now.


my foot warmer